The Final Passage:  It will happen to all of us at a different time and in a different way.  The death experience will be different for each one of us the experience will be as individual as we are.  It will be our own personal journey whether sudden or prolonged in nature.  We will experience others deaths prior to our own I think this is life’s way of preparing one for what’s to come.  When we are young we lose a pet, as we age we lose great grandparents, then grandparents, then parents, friends and significant others then our own death.  This would be if the lifespan journey was one of sequential living but we all know life is not about order it is about random chaos that we manage day to day.  I do not mean this in a negative way, just think about it?  We wake up and have our day planned.  How many days truly go as planned or follow that perfect schedule we set for ourselves, not many.  Life has a way of happening whether we are ready or not and death is part of life.  Sudden death I feel is the hardest to cope with.  As people I think closure is important and a sudden death it is hard to fulfill the need for that.  Being able to prepare for someone’s death there is time to celebrate them, love them say what needs to be said.  This does not make death any less difficult but I do believe that it allows all involved to grieve with the person whom is passing and allows for more preparation and healing too begin.  The loss of a loved one is and will always be the hardest thing to cope with in life because of its finality, but it is part of life that no one escapes, it is just another part of this journey we call life.

Blogging for this class really made me think about each chapter that was studied.  By writing down thoughts and feelings applied to the materials helps make it more applicable to the life-span we are living past, present and future.  Wishing the best to all of you, happy summer!   

 

Week 9

 Memory:  Can you imagine a life without memories?  I can’t, I love to reminisce about years past.  But, as you get older just trying to pull out a word to say or remember why you went to the store because you forgot the shopping list and can’t remember what was on it can be frustrating.  Semantic memory: I feel I fight with this all the time.  I know what word I want to say, or the meaning of a word I want to use but I just cannot find the vocabulary.   I work with the elderly and this is a constant with them.  How about when you try to remember something; but can’t, and then remember it hours later, or in the middle of the night happens more and more as you get older. 

 When you think about it all we are, are memories. The stories that we tell or the stories that are told about us, the family vacations, holidays, your  high school days, your wedding day the day your children were born all we have is the memory of that moment in time.  As we age those memories are not as clear or are forgotten.  Although, there are some of the aging populations that are a sharp as a tack (as they say) till the end, most memories are not clear or cannot be expressed or remembered at all.  This is very sad too me because anything in our past is just that… a memory.       

Blog 8

 

This week’s reading was like reading about myself, some of it past and present.  I have had three careers in my life so far a teacher, stay at home mom or as I called it executive manager of many lives, and a real estate agent which my husband and I did together.  I am now in school and probably most excited about this career of becoming a Hospice Nurse.  This career is about me and what I want; not do the timing of life, economic issues, job losses or others expectations.  This time it feels different, it is a pressure that I chose.  At times I wonder why and if I can do it?  So far I have been able to succeed although it is not easy, but nothing in life worth having is.  I am past the stage of the child care dilemma, even though our daughter still lives at home she is self-sufficient to a point (still needs her mom at 2 am in the morning for mom and daughter talks).  While working 30 hours a week and taking 2-3 classes a quarter does not leave a lot of leisure time or with my husband.  Work schedules being opposite it leaves a lot of pressure for couple time.  I’m also part of the sandwich generation I am taking care of my mom more as she is getting older.  With the lessening of neurons in my 47 year old brain it takes longer to study then it used too.  But with all that said the life that I have had up to now has prepared me for some of what I am going through. The life experience that is brought to an occupation or current job and the age one is at that time, I think has a lot to do with job satisfaction.  I am again staring at the bottom of a new career, but I love my job, because I know where it can take me and I am more confident than I would have been at a younger age.  I also am lucky enough to have good people and mentors around me and that does make a difference. We spend a lot of time at our jobs/careers and with all the stresses in life; hopefully one can have a career that is also self–fulfilling.     

Blog 7

  

I found myself relating to this week’s reading.  The possible selves- what one could become, what one would like to become and what one is afraid to become I think we do this through all stages of our life-span.  When one is young the energy and the excitement of what and who we can be in our future drives us to explore and strive for what one is passionate about at that time.  As we progress and the social clock whether successful in its timing or not priorities, personal control beliefs and life-happens in an ever changing environment influences what direction we travel during life’s journey.  As one’s life story evolves the possible selves and crystallized intelligence I think play apart as things change or one decides to explore new avenues either by choice or circumstance.  I speak from experience learning does become more difficult with age but is so worth it if one wants it and is another part of one’s life story.

Relationships they could be a volume of books and study all on its own. When I think of the word relationship or relationships love and complicated, friends and family come to mind. That old saying “you can choose your friends but not your family”.  The falling in love relationship is so different for everyone no two are alike that’s what makes it so special no one else has the exact same experience.  Staying in love I think is more universal once the infatuation wears off it is about what really holds two people together and that too is individual but tends to be more about values, effort and choices as a couple.  I don’t think it matters what culture you are from or if it is a man and a woman, a woman and woman or man and man if your respect the relationship and value commitment that was chosen then there will be a long life story for two.

 

I came from a divorced home and for me it was a blessing.  I was then introduced into a blended family, been there!  It is not all negative although complex there are a lot of positive things and situations that come from divorce situations.     

 

Blog 6

 

 

 

After reading this week’s chapters it is amazing we survive adolescents!  Adolescent egocentrism, imaginary audience, personal fable, illusion of invulnerability, I can think of examples for all of these from my teen days.  My adolescents, was in the early 1980’s and I do think it was a simpler time then.  I did not have the pressure of being on display every second of every day like today with face book and other social media that is at our figure tips twenty four hours a day.  But there was social pressure.  I went to junior high and high school in southern California in an area where when you turned sixteen for your birthday you got convertible Mercedes.  We lived in a rich and wealthy area but were not rich.  There was an unspoken rule you did not go to the mail box unless you were in full make up and dresses up; you never knew who could drive by.  But I don’t think the media was so intertwined in our lives.  I feel depending on where you live, your social and economic status has a lot to do with the extra pressures of adolescence.   One of my best friends going up was gay and I was one of only two friends that knew and over twenty years ago it was not as accepted as it is now.  I know this was hard for her not being able to express herself for who she was.  She choose other ways to express herself being a little more masculine in the way she dressed and did her hair she was more tough and yet soft spoken, she partied a lot and was in sports. She had some depression off and on growing up.  She was such a great person so caring for others.  But I don’t feel she really got to experience her adolescents, this always made me sad for her (She has a wonderful life now) but while reading I thought of her a lot.  I have wonderful and of course what I thought then as tragic memories of my adolescents and am glad it is not a stage we have to repeat.

Blog 5

This was an interesting chapter to read I am not sure that I agree with some of the quote “direction instruction” unquote.  I get what the book was trying to convey, but we do not live in a world of would you, could you, and the reason behind what is being asked of you.  We need to of course teach our children to share, be giving, help and be thoughtful to one another but there are all kinds of situations and this is to general of a concept.  As a parent if you ask; not tell; a child it is time to pick up your room there is an expectation there, it is time to clean your room. There could be a thousand reasons why it’s time to clean your room but it is now time to clean it.  I also believe that a child should question authority, why should I clean my room? A reason then is given and the expectation is the same. The room needs to be cleaned.  The next time the room is asked to be cleaned, there is an expectation that it will be done.  I point this out because when we are adults we need to share in the responsibilities of what is important to the family in which one belongs and that there are things that are expected just for being part of that family.  The reason I mention that authority should be questioned is for clarification if needed by the child. What if an adult was going to harm a child by asking them to do something, the child should know that if something does not feel right that they should question authority and what is happening. This is a hard concept to teach, but my feeling is it is an important one.

I am very opinionated on subject of child rearing, this is why.  In most cases (there are exceptions) people, men and women make a choice to have a child.  By making that choice you must, again this is my opinion make that child a priority and put that child first.  The child did not ask to come into this world there was a choice made to bring a new life into this world.  I do not believe there is a right or wrong way to parent, but with that said abuse is not part of the equation. I know we do not live in a perfect world.  I know this from experience, it was far from a Disneyland the happiest place on earth kind of childhood, But Life Happens, good or bad and as parents we have to make sure that the child that we chose to bring into this world has a chance at the best life we can give.  As adults we can make a choice to have a happy life or one or turmoil.  We humans have choices regardless of our up-bringing.

 

 

 

Blog 4

Where to start I could write pages on this week’s topics.  I will start with the hurried child article and make-believe play.  I taught pre-kindergarten from 1987-1994 and make-believe play was part of the   daily lesson plan.  We as teachers would document for parent teacher conferences the child’s creativity with other children in a social situation.  How a child related to him or herself, behaviors and controlling impulses, discipline during play, the interaction during play, problem solving,  emotions or in a nut shell self-regulation.  In my opinion imaginary play is how we learn, grow and allow ourselves to be creative. We can go where we could never go and be what we could never be in real life. Technology has taken the physical part of imaginary play away but it is here and part of another avenue for imaginary adventures.  Without imaginary play children would not get to express ideas or play out dreams that would otherwise not be explored.  

Intelligent tests (IQ test), the definition of intelligence is the ability to acquire and apply knowledge and skills.  The word intelligence by itself seems too broad.  Reading through the chapter the theories about intelligence seem to be trying to define or redefine what intelligence is.  Like everything else in life one size does not fit all.  If IQ tests are going to be the measurement, then of course we need a base line to work from.  There are so many factors that need to be taken into account heredity, the environment, ethnicity, and socioeconomic status, parenting, what is happening in life at the time the test is given and so on.  I agree with the fact that we are all individuals and differ substantially in intellectual ability so if the IQ test is the measurement then we need to have a range of test to work from.

Academic skills: Reading it is how we get through life, how we grow, and learn, how we escape with a good book.  It is tied to everything we do.  As teachers and parents we have to make sure that our children can read and write.  The basics are so important and not all children achieve them at the same time.  My daughter struggled in kindergarten with reading even though I was a teacher and worked with her constantly.  Her comprehension just took longer than others.  By the end of 4^th grade she was above average in reading, and in high school and now college, she loves to read and retains what she reads at high level.  We need to follow through with our children and help find the best learning strategies that work for them.  I do believe that as parents and teachers it is on us to make sure our children do not fall through the cracks.  What our children do with the skills they are given later in life that is up to them.  Writing and math fall into play also, and the fact that schools are now taking cursive writing out of our educational system is such a disservice.  We really need to think about the impact that these decisions are going to take in the long run.